The Courage To Create: Overcoming Perfectionism and Self-Criticism

Episode 97 The Candice Night Quote
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Cristina: [00:00:00] Welcome to morning coffee and mimosas. I'm Christina and I'm Joe. We are a father daughter duo. We come here Sunday mornings, but you can come here anytime you please. We banter about life, about business, and we do it over coffee and mimosas.

Good morning. Good morning, Faj. The race to the morning. Nobody is racing, but you and happy new year listeners. This is our first podcast back after the 2024 year has officially commenced. Correct. And it's going fantastic. So 

Joe: far 24 will be a good 

Cristina: year. I'm actually really liking this year. You know, 2023, we can leave that behind.

But 2024, I don't know about the rest of you listeners, but I'm feeling pretty good about it. Yes, 

Joe: I am too. It's going to be very good.[00:01:00] And what I like about this topic that we have not, well, we revealed it, but I mean, we haven't spoken about 

you 

Cristina: mean revealed it? We've not revealed anything. Well, we just said good morning.

Joe: The listeners would have read the topic dialogue, you get that? 

Cristina: Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Because the listeners aren't literally sitting here with us. That's correct. That's correct. I'm like, we haven't revealed anything yet. No, we have not. Well, yes, listeners, you may have read our description and the title.

So maybe you have a sense of what we're talking about today. That's right. What are we talking about today? I actually have no idea. 

Joe: Well, we, I'm going to jump right into this because I was really excited about this and a little background. I'm jumping right in. Then I step back and say a little background, but, I follow on Twitter, Candace Knight, and many of you may or may not know who that is, but Candace Knight is the singer in a band Blackmore's Night.

And that band has Richie Blackmore. They're [00:02:00] married, Richie Blackmore and Candace Knight are married and Richie Blackmore was the lead guitarist of Deep Purple and left the band many, many years ago, but has this band with his wife. 

So, but she posted this quote, and the quote was by um, this woman, Glennon Doyle. And it says, if you feel something calling you to dance, or write, or paint, or sing, please refuse to worry about whether you're good enough.

Just do it. And what I liked about that, I love that it hit me like between the eyes. Because, even this podcast, we did it. We started a podcast. We did. I play the guitar. I'm not in any way, shape or form the best guitar player in the world, but I played did some stuff. Some people saw me, got into a band, you know, and I've had decades of enjoyment and fun [00:03:00] because I chose to do something, even though, you know, probably on the, on the scale of guitar players, I'm like, not even on the register, if you know what I mean, I don't even register.

So. I wanted to discuss that in this episode, the fact that really just do things if you feel a calling to do something. And it doesn't mean, I even replied back, it doesn't mean that it has to be your job. It doesn't mean that you have to think that you can earn any income on it. But do it and another little side benefit of that is you don't know the people you meet along the way in that little hobby or whatever you want to call it that actually can help you in your profession or in earning more money or anything.

So I wanted to kind of with that lead in discuss that and get your opinion on that and how that relates to. the work environment and [00:04:00] business and being entrepreneurial or just being better at what you do. 

Cristina: I'm working on not interrupting this year. So I feel like you were looking at me like, when are you going to jump in and cut me off?

Cause I'm done talking and I keep talking. I'm done. No, you can 

Joe: have the rest of the podcast of the episode 

Cristina: now. No, I, uh, I love this and I think that the timing is perfect because as we're starting a new year and this is a year of action a year of execution, right? And this quote is all about the importance and like I've been listening to so many different things You know as you kind of get your mind set Recalibrated, as you approach a new year, not that anything changes because you're doing a lot of the same things.

Um, what has changed is the amount of food and alcohol consumption that happened in December, certainly. But, other than that, you know, we're, we're always, active, we're always doing, we're always thinking. [00:05:00] But, I think that this quote is a great one because it's, it's inspiring to say. You don't need to have things all figured out to get started and the only way that anybody got to where they are today is from taking that first step and The greatest in any field didn't start out as the greatest in that field, right?

They started out as somebody that was a learner somebody that was curious somebody that tried and somebody that worked hard. Yeah And that's how they get to be the person that you're ultimately admiring and saying, gosh, I don't think I should start because I'd never be that good. So, I mean, what would the world be like if, if there wasn't enough people that had the courage to do something that they weren't quite ready for or didn't quite know their way around?

That's right. 

Joe: And, and the thing that I want to make sure we get across to you listeners is. Many times we look at the top people, and we've had an episode on [00:06:00] survivorship bias, but that we look at the top people and look at how they got there. But this is this, what we're talking about today is not about success.

It's not about getting to the top. It's not about being the best. 

Cristina: It's about fulfillment, right? Correct. Oh, there goes the interrupting. 

Joe: That was good. I'm back. It's about fulfilling 

Cristina: yourself. You are. It's the 2023 me. Rounding 

Joe: the corner to 24. It's the, it's the fact of do it. without thinking that you have to perfect what you're doing, start doing it.

And by that fact, you start to accomplish and learn by doing and not try to be the best. But what about 

Cristina: even taking a side? Like let's even forget about accomplishing like what if it's just something You enjoy and that you have fun with [00:07:00] like I love singing. I love karaoke I am freaking terrible like terrible.

I've heard that by the way from who? No from anyone other than me

Maybe when we're off air you'll tell me but No, i'm really bad. Like I don't have a good voice. Um, I do have great performance quality on stage so I think if I did have a good voice I may have had a shot at something but I love it like I literally like I I enjoy singing I love you know I love the whole process of it, but that's not something that I would ever be doing with the intent of You know becoming going on American Idol.

I do it just because it brings me joy and if I Got to, you know, a karaoke bar and said, well, oh, that person was better than me or that person actually has a good voice or I would, [00:08:00] I would lose out on so much fun and other people would lose out on fun because it's also a lot of fun to watch me suck up there.

Joe: Well, but that's, that's the whole idea of what we're talking about is just go ahead and do it because 

Cristina: it's experiences that you would not have otherwise 

Joe: correct now in my case with the guitar, you know, I, I. Took lessons and learn I practiced and so on we got 

Cristina: it dad You're you are more accomplished than me in my in my musical 

Joe: abilities.

No, that's not it But my point is I know that I can't hold that I'm gonna say something Mom, and I went New Year's Eve to a place and there was a band there three piece band I couldn't stop admiring the lead guitarist, the guitar player. He was so amazing. All I kept thinking to myself, they wouldn't have me, I would never make an audition to this, but I could never play, I could never do this stuff.

And I joked with him that when I get home, I'm gonna light the fireplace and throw my guitars in because they're better used for [00:09:00] firewood than they are for me playing. Yeah, exactly. But my point is, but the role, you know, but I was able for decades To perform out in front of people in bands and we were we were okay and 

Cristina: actually get a little money here and there 

Joe: And I'm only using the guitar as an example to say that if I ever Thought I can't be Eric Clapton.

I can't be Santana I will never ever try to put myself out there Then look at what I would have missed all these years And all the joy that we brought that the band brought and all this other stuff and our podcast is an example we Literally didn't know what we were doing when we started we did some research and whatever and then we talked because we have his you know an ability to The knowledge we have and we wanted to get that across but what do we 

Cristina: do?

Is that why we're doing it? Yeah to impart [00:10:00] knowledge. That's news to me 

Joe: Well, that's what I was trying to do, but I was definitely not 

Cristina: well. No, I mean I thought I I thought we were just Enjoying some time together dad. I thought this was like a really great father daughter bonding experience where we would get to learn from one another.

Mm hmm 

Joe: and we were doing that but now we're doing it in public Okay but if you listen to some of these fancy podcasts and they there they have a whole team that does editing and music and backgrounds and this and that's their guests So then we wouldn't have started if we can't have a 100, 000 a week, you know, team putting something together.

So that's my, that's why when I read things like that, that quote, I just think it's beneficial for a lot of people to just understand, do something. If you like to do it, then just do it. Take the action. Take the action. You know, join the club, go do this, go do that. And don't wait for other 

Cristina: people either.

[00:11:00] No, no, never. That's correct. That's like a, like, don't wait for other people because so many people are like, well, I would try that restaurant if I had somebody to go with, or I would take ballroom dancing classes if I had a partner. It's like, just sign up, just go. 

Joe: Correct. That's a, that's a, that's a 

Cristina: great analogy.

I've had some of my best meals by myself. 

Joe: Yeah, yeah. 

Cristina: Sitting at the bar, like ordering whatever the heck I want and having myself a 

Joe: night. Yeah. And think of all of the things that you can do from, you know, any, any hobby, any, anything, if, if you do it and just do it and enjoy yourself, very often you end up, let's use your ballroom dancing example.

We have a good friend that is a very good ballroom dancer. he just wanted to learn ballroom dancing. He met so many women, he met so many other people, and he's had such a great time. And [00:12:00] when he goes to weddings, and he goes to events, He's not the best ballroom dancer in the world, but guess what everybody at the wedding do you think anybody can dance He looks like a hero And he attracts people are like, oh my god, you know So 

Cristina: people that but people are also attracted to people that are just like living Authentically, yes, people are attracted to people that are happy and people that are having fun and enjoying themselves And that's not I'm not talking about like attraction like romantically.

I'm just talking about like, you attract in all walks of life, um, that are attracted to your energy and that want to feel the way you, you show that you feel right. So why not look for ways to show up as the happiest version of yourself? And I think that taking action is, I think that quote was perfect.

Joe: Yeah. I think of, uh, I'm just giving examples, mom with Toastmasters. [00:13:00] These are people that, some, some have an opportunity to speak in public and to actually do something and most of them just want to be better because they enjoy the act of giving presentations and this gives them an opportunity to do it and they enjoy themselves and they're just doing it with no, no other illusions of it.

I'm going to be some famous speaker or not. And think of that. It's amazing. But who do you meet? You start to meet other like minded people. You never know who they work. You never know. And I'm not saying everything has to have another kind of outcome, but it 

Cristina: could. It could. And then, and, and there's also like so much of, of taking action and stepping, if you, if there's somebody that you want to become that you're not yet, so much of it is just changing your mindset and thinking about how, you know, what would that person do if I'm somebody that.

If I'm somebody like the Toastmasters example that you gave, if I'm somebody that wants to be a public speaker, a professional [00:14:00] speaker, well, what would a professional speaker do? They'd be speaking regularly. So how can you put yourself in a position, even though you don't have paid gigs yet, to go and speak regularly, you know, like joining a Toastmasters club is a super accessible and easy way to do that.

Joe: Once or twice a month, you're, you're putting yourself. To prepare something and to be better at it than and the other people are telling you how to Improve I mean, it's 

Cristina: and then you figure out like do I enjoy this as much as I thought? I would mm 

Joe: hmm. Yeah So it's another just I was just giving that as another example 

Cristina: Yeah, so this I don't know we beat the the horse anymore pretty much I don't know 

Joe: pretty much got it because you know, my dad told me a joke about boxing, but I guess I missed a punchline See, I 

Cristina: thought I forgot that we do 

Joe: that 

Cristina: Well dad, you know, there's no I in team here There's only we in team.

There's no we in team either I guess but that's that's 

Joe: right[00:15:00] So I think, I think, I made, I made my point. 

Cristina: What do made your point. I think that that just about wraps it up. I think so. But what I would say, listeners, is as we're, as we're closing out here and ending our first episode of the new year, a short and sweet one, but a powerful message to say, This year let's just do the damn thing like let's take some action figure out what it is that Lights that fire inside of you and just freaking do it.

Joe: Correct. Love it Wherever you are. Whatever your story. Thanks for spending time with us this morning now Go and make a difference in your world. So we're going to just do 

Cristina: it. We are, and we forgot this part, but listeners, if you liked what you [00:16:00] please like subscribe and share with a friend, the holiday season has us all kinds of shook.

That's right. Have a great week, everybody. Thank you everyone.